Ask MaRs

"Ive been dating this girl for a few months.  Things are really good between us.  When we hang out, we have a good time.  I just feel that she is wishy washy.  She shows that she really likes me but then she pulls back and acts like she doesn't care or isn't interested.  What should I do?"

This sounds like a case of the, "I need to remind myself constantly that I'm single," syndrome.  Some women walk into dating with the mentality that they are here simply to date and that is it.  They don't realize that spending time with someone will spark feelings and emotions that they're not necessarily ready for.  When things begin to get too good and they realize they are too happy, they tend to pull back because it begins to feel too much like a relationship.  People who have to constantly say, "I'm single" do it to remind themselves and keep themselves from getting caught up.  Take a step back yourself and see what direction you're headed in.  After all, you are single so you shouldn't be expecting much from the other party.  Expectations is what kills dating.  You can mention to the person you're dating that you are not ready for more so she doesn't have to be scared to let go of her fears of getting caught up.  The only thing is, when you say that, you have to mean it.

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We always have been EQUAL!

Of course the hot topic of the weekend is that we are now legally able to wed in New York State!  Yayyy!!!  This is such an amazing milestone.

I was a bit surprised by the negativity.  Of course you can expect it from the holy rollers, the heterosexuals but the HOMOSEXUALS? Why on God's green earth do you not think you deserve the rights of any other human on this planet?  Are you abnormal?  Do you not breathe and bleed the way heterosexuals do? Were you born from your mother's asshole and not her vagina?  Just curious.  Please STOP dehumanizing yourselves!  I deserve the rights to marry just like you or any other person.  It only becomes abnormal when you want to marry your dog or cat.  Please, lets start giving ourselves the credit that we deserve as HUMANS!  We always have been equal but ignorance has stripped us of that.  Everyone has the right their own beliefs, but please believe that you are not less than anyone else and should be able to live like everyone else.

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3minds invades Sweetheat Miami 2011

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Dating 101

Intro to dating.

I've realized that many lesbians don't know what it means to date (me included).  We meet someone, spend every other day with them, and then expect a whole lot of shit afterwards.  What I have learned is that when it comes to dating, you should hold NO expectations.  Dating is supposed to be fun, not stressful.  With that said, here are my do's and donts to dating.


DO NOT- feel under pressure.  If you feel ANY pressure then ABORT! Dating is about getting to know each other.  You shouldn't feel pressured to go somewhere that you don't wanna go, to do something you don't wanna do or to hang out when you don't want to hang out.

DO- try to take things slow.  Lesbians have the tendency to run head first into dating and before you know it, they've moved in and gotten married all within 2 weeks.  Take the time to get to know the person to even see if you want to be with them.  You never know your future partner in 2 weeks. 

DO NOT- play baller during the first couple of weeks.  Splurging on a girl just to impress her is soo stupid.  She will eventually find out your broke.  Do practical things like cook for each other. 

DO- have respect for the person you're dating.  If you're dating more than one person, please try to keep them separated.  It can create an awkward situation if the two happen to run into each other.  If they're kinky, then maybe you can land a threesome.  That only happens in pornos tho.  I digress...

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Why skinnydip when you can Chunkie Dunk? @mschunkiedunk

Check out the woman behind the Tshirt line, @mschunkiedunk on twitter. The shirts come in black, white and pink! Sizes range from small to 4X.

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Damnnnn You lost weight!

Once you're a celebrity you gain all these super human powers that allow you to lose a lot of weight.  Celebrities use everything short of crack to slim down.  Here are some of the most extreme weight loss celebs.

7.) Jennifer Hudson- Bobble head extraordinaire

6.) Lil ole' Jordan Sparks.  Looking mighty fine!

5.) Marsha Ambrosius- I swear I wasn't lookin at her until she lost weight

4.) Monique- Wasn't she know for loving her big ole' self?

3.) Star Jones- Thank You Jesus! Star was looking all kinds of  O_o

2.) Raven Simone-  Finally grew out of that baby fat but now I think she's too slim

1.) My Boo, Jill Scott- Gorgeous big or small

Aint she sexy?

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Happy Bornday @VBella !!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICKI!!

Wishing you many more!  Stay positive, stay blessed and more importantly... NEVER  CHANGE!



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Featured Artist @JimmiiMontana

Have you heard about Jimmii Montana?  She's a very HOT Emcee that is killing the scene right now.  Check her out!

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NYC Pride DON'Ts!!!

Are we excited about NY Pride?  I'm on the fence with this one.  I've never really been a fan of NYC Pride.  Blah.  Either way, its a great opportunity to network and get to know new homos.  While you're meeting and greeting, take a gander at what you should NOT be doing.


DO NOT- come outside of your house naked.  SMH. you have to go on public transportation in that fishnet one piece!  Your nasty ass can't even sit down on the train because you have no draws on...

DO NOT- walk around in the club barefoot! Please bring some rassclat flip flops.  I'm so over seeing you barefoot broads in the club.  Do you know if you catch foot fungus you can DIE? or lose your hair? SMH.  Then your gonna be bald, dead with dirty ass smelly feet.

DO NOT- go out and spend all your hard earned money on a Pride club outfit.  You're going to see the same damn people you saw last week. 

DO NOT- Sit in VIP with all 20 eleven of your friends sharing one bottle.  Passing the bottle like its a blunt.  Do what the rest of us do and get wasted before you hit the club.  It's cheaper and you don't have to feel embarrassed because you gotta share that one bottle with 20 other people.  SMH especially since your friend got that shit on her lip...

DO NOT- get mad when you spend $50 to get in the club and now you can't get a drink and have no transportation home.  Please figure your shit out before you leave your house!  You're probably broke because you put in on that one bottle and now you're salty because you only took a sip!

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3Minds Hosting this Sunday!

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Ask MaRs

"How do you get a possible significant other to understand you are bisexual- not straight or gay?"

I think this is a very important question.  There is no other way to say it that to just put it out there.  The last thing you want to do is mislead anyone.  It is very important that when your dealing with sexuality, you remain open and honest.  Now if your putting it out there that you are bisexual to a potential partner and they aren't being receptive of it, then she probably is accepting of it, or chooses to ignore it.  The most important thing is that you remain open and honest about it.  Nothing worse than finding out about your sexuality in a deceptive manor.

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TRibal Wedges for your Afternoon nut

I LOVE Tribal Wedges.  I saw these and I had to share my excitement lol

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Nikki vs Lil Mama

So Lil' Mama feels that Nikki is copying her style.  -_-

If I HAD to copy any of these 2 broads style I'd be walking around nude all day.  Not only is Lil' Mama NOT relevant, but she's a bit presumptuous to think that anyone would aim to look like her.  Is she the first person in life to ever wear a white bob?

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Funbag Friday's

It's FunBag Friday!  Here are some titties to get you through the day.  Thank me later.

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Ask MaRs..

I get a lot of questions from different blog readers so I decided to do an, "Ask MaRs" portion of the blog.  All submissions will remain anonymous.  Here is a question from a blog reader.

I am in a relationship with a person who possibly has a mental illness.  How do I deal with this?  Should I stay?

Hmmm... What kind of behavior does your partner exhibit for you to feel she has a mental illness?  Often times we deal with women who are just crazy.  I've had my share of them.  Is there something specific that she does that can be associated with a mental illness?  If her behavior can be diagnosed as a clinical psychological illness then I think it takes someone very strong to deal with her.  If you have been with her for a while and you are already in love with her, then it would be hard to just leave her.  If she is someone that you just began dating then I think it would be best to bow out gracefully.  Dealing with someone who has a mental illness can be very draining.  In the event that she is someone you want to support emotionally and continue to be with, sit down with her and explain to her that she should see get an evaluation.  Hell, get an evaluation with her to support her.  Based on the results of her evaluation, encourage her to seek treatment whether it be counseling or medication.

I hope this helps!

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Gay Marriage!

We are one vote away from legalizing gay marriage in NYC.  That is such a great thing.  My immediate thoughts were... If and when gay marriage is legalized, how many of us are going to run to the alter?  You know us lesbians go through relationships like liquor... What will the divorce rate look like? There are lesbian couple that have been together for YEARS.  Then there are the couples that meet and fall in love all in the same minute.  Either way, I'm just happy to have the same opportunity to screw up my life with marriage the way the heterosexuals have the option.

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Featured Artist @Gemi_fly

Everyone knows I'm a sucker for a spoken word artist/poet.  Linn put me on to this spoken word artist @Gemi_fly.  Follow her on twitter.  Check out the link to her website below and check out her youtube videos!

https://sites.google.com/site/mzgemifly

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@RealTracyMorgan issues an apology

V.Bella sent me this article from MSN.com.  I decided to COPY and PASTE the article to the blog so you can see that Morgan has issued an apology.  He even offers to go back to Nashville and apologize.

Tracy Morgan is really sorry.

He's so sorry, in fact, that he's heading back to Nashville in an attempt to right his wrongs.

The comedian and "30 Rock" star came under intense fire on Friday after a shockingly violent homophobic tirade during his standup routine. He issued a statement apologizing, saying:

"I'm not a hateful person and don't condone any kind of violence against others."

Now, Morgan, 42, is planning to return to the country music capital next week and apologize in person to the audience members he offended. He told GLAAD President Jarrett Barrios he's also committed to meeting with LGBT youth in New York from the Ali Forney Center who have been hurt or left homeless by parental rejection as well as family members who have lost children to anti-gay violence. 

"I know how bad bullying can hurt. I was bullied when I was a kid. I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it. I never want to use my comedy to hurt anyone," he told the organization. "Parents should support and love their kids no matter what. Gay people deserve the same right to be happy in this country as everyone else. Our laws should support that. I hope that my fans gay, straight, whatever forgive, and I hope my family forgives me for this."

"Meeting with gay and transgender youth shunned by their parents and families who have lost loved ones to anti-gay violence is an important first step," Barrios said. "These meetings will help Tracy better understand that no one should be treated differently or subjected to violence."

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Evelyn VS. Royce

Last night we all witnessed Evelyn do her signature drink toss.  Royce was the target.  I know that was supposed to be the highlight of the show, but I just can't get over how TACKY both Evelyn and Royce are!  That was my highlight.  Now of course, Evelyn isn't nearly as bad as Royce.  I call Evelyn tacky because she always has these big ass people hanging from her ear.  Why in midget hell would you have earrings in your ears the size of your head?  And Royce?  Royce is just a hot steamy mess.  A mixture of El Mundo clothing and Fabaco Shoes.  Not even Payless shoes... FABACO! *sigh*  These shows don't have stylist?  Isn't Tami and Suzi friends with Royce?  Why won't they tell her about how she dresses?  And why won't anyone tell Evelyn to stop wearing butterflies that take hormones on her ears?  WHY?

Fabaco Shoes "/

damn those plastic earrings, that 1990's bikini and those beauty supply store shades

Rainbow intimates section



SMH..



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FUCK YOU @RealTracyMorgan

I was always a fan of Tracy Morgan... until now.

With the recent LGBTQ suicides that took over our community a few months back, you can imagine how sensitive the public is to hearing people with the power to CHANGE things use their voice as an opportunity to slander homosexuals. 

Tracy Morgan did a show in Nashville where he repeatedly put down homosexuality.  "Gays need to quit being pussies and not be whining about something as insignificant as bullying."  Something as insignificant as bullying?  Does he realize that the insignificant bullying has lead to people taking their own lives?  When discussing the possibility of his son being gay he said, "better talk to me like a man and not in a gay voice or I'll pull out a knife and stab that little nigger to death."  This coming from a man who does gay impersonations VERY well.  More wise words from Tracy...  "Gay is something that kids learn from the media and programming."

Tracy feels we should all be able to take a joke.  Because apparently everything he said about killing his son if he were gay or homosexuals getting over a little insignificant bullying is quite comical. To add insult to injury, Morgan concludes by saying,  "I don't "fucking care if I piss off some gays, because if they can take a fucking dick up their ass ... they can take a fucking joke."  Would you take it as a "fucking joke" if your son killed himself due to your comments?  How about if your brother or sister came out as a homosexual and decided to jump off a bridge because they heard your routine?  Do you realize the power your voice has?  You insensitive numbnut.  When did comedy become an outlet to insult and dehumanize people? FUCK YOU Tracy Morgan! :)

How ignorant can this bastard be? Hit this fool up on twitter: @RealTracyMorgan

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What do you know about...

AIDS?

Wednesday I went to a HIV/AIDS awareness conference.  I was filled with so much information that I felt it HAD to be shared.  Many people don't acknowledge the history of AIDS.  This disease has made it to its 30th birthday.  From its original debut in 1981 the AIDS virus has taken over 1 billion lives.  The most important information I took from this conference was what everyone believed to be the origin of AIDS.

We have all heard the theory that AIDS came from Africa.  Supposedly an African used Chimpanzee blood to heal a flesh wound which then birthed AIDS.  People ran rampant with the idea that AIDS came from Africa.  While some people still believe this theory, the next theory explains why the Africa theory was put forth.

It has been PROVEN that the HIV virus was given to many people as a vaccination for hemophilia.  This was supposedly an accident but a couple hundred thousands of people died of the AIDS virus by 1990 due to the vaccination that was given to the over a period of time. 

As time went by the accepted theory of AIDS was homosexuality.  The first cases of AIDS in the US was found in New York and LA.  A number of gay men were diagnosed so AIDS became the "gay disease."  Before the disease was named AIDS, a number of names were thrown on the table incorporating the idea of homosexuality. 

As the disease developed, so did the theories of its origin.  AIDS became evident in heterosexuals.  This is when people realized that AIDS can be contracted through drug use.  At one point, AIDS was known as the Haitian disease.  A number of people diagnosed with the disease came from Haiti.  AIDS was know for the 4 H's.  Homosexuals, Hemophilia, Haiti and Heroin. 

Interesting Facts
- Did you know that medicaid laws now have the right to deny HIV/AIDS medication?  Doctors can encourage you to get generic brands instead of prescription medication
-Did you know that circumcision is shown to reduce HIV infection among heterosexual men?
-Did you know that 2 people with HIV/AIDS are still in danger if they decide to have unprotected sex?  Two people with HIV/AIDS engaging in sexual activity have the ability to create a new strand of HIV that may not be curable.
-Did you know 9.5 million people infected with the HIV virus are still in need of treatment?
-First case of HIV/AIDS in 1981... by 1991 45,000 cases of HIV... by 2001 747,000 cases of HIV... by 2006 33 million cases of HIV

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My Pastor taking a stand for the LGBTQ in Harlem!

My pastor was interviewed by the NY Daily News.  Here is the article.

Not all Harlem pastors have a problem with an upcoming gay pride picnic.
A openly gay Harlem pastor said he plans to host a service in Marcus Garvey Park during the second annual Harlem Pride event later this month.
"My church will be there in full force," said Pastor Joseph Tolton, who says about 90% of his congregation at Rehoboth Temple Christ Conscious Church are members of the LGBT community.
Tolton's picnic plans come after some pastors complained about the event - including Pastor Ronald Ferguson of Antioch Church of God on W.124th St., who compared gay behavior to being a pedophile or having sex with an animal.
"This gay pride nonsense is an abomination," Ferguson told the Daily News, adding he won't leave his house that day and expected parishioners to follow his lead. "God does not want to see homosexuals in our parks."
Tolton extended an offer to the pastors who opposed the event, saying, "They need to come. They need to see us worship."
Harlem Pride organizer Carmen Neely confirmed they are discussing with Tolton "the possibility of a service."
The uptown pride events are slated for June 24 to 26. The picnic is June 25.
The Rev. Michael Walrond Jr. of First Corinthian Baptist Church on W. 116th St. said he doesn't have a problem with the picnic.
"I honor and respect their right to do what they want to do," said Walrond, adding "a lot" of his congregation is gay. "I trust God will lead them....My task is to love them," said the married pastor.
"It takes no courage to stand in the firing line to shoot people down," Walrond said, adding he believed the pastors' strong criticism was because "they are afraid of someone labeling them."
The Rev. Calvin Butts of Abyssinian Baptist Church also had no issue with the picnic.
"It's a free country and they certainly have every right to be in the park," Butts said. "Spewing out venom like that does not help to foster the kind of communal spirit that we so desperately need."
The Rev. Earl Kooperkamp of St. Mary's Episcopal Church said many of his members annually attend the gay pride festivities downtown - and that he would now encourage them to attend the uptown festivities.
"Now we don't have to go all the way downtown, we can celebrate gay pride right here in the neighborhood," said Kooperkamp. "I think it's a good thing."

Watch this Video!

Want to attend Rehoboth Temple?
310 West 139th street
New York, NY 10030

Service begins PROMPTLY at 1:15PM

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3Minds Launches The No B.S. (No Bullying, No Suicides) Campaign with GMAD, and Lezplay @ Brooklyn Pride NYC 2011

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Top 5 people who finally let go of that "musician" title

Some people just aren't meant to hold that "musician" title.  Maybe they have talent that lies else where.  The music industry isn't for everyone.  Here are some "artist" who should seriously quit their day job and find a real talent.

5.) Cassie-  Boo you're beautiful!  Stick to modeling and making music video appearances.  Leave the mic alone.  Please and Thank You.

 4.) Lil' Mama- She had one hit about 5 years ago.  MTV made her relevant as a dance expert :-/

3.)Ashanti- Don't look surprised boo!  If you can sing, then so can I. 

2.) Whitney Houston- A legend, until she let the drugs eat her alive.  They tried to bring her back but it didn't work.  Her voice isn't the same, she can't be on stage for more than 10 min without her running off, she should just give it up!

1.) Amerie-  She is beautiful to me.  Hands Down, but the bitch makes me constipated when ever I hear her sing. 

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Who would you bed over?

 Who would you bed over?

Chanel Iman

Sessilie Lopez

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My Words...

Good Day! I decided to drop some of my poetry today because I haven't don't so in a while.  I hope you enjoy!  Leave feedback if you're lead to. Also, if your interested in my writing, look for my book of words coming soon!

A little background about this poem.  I wrote this poem in my sleep.  Literally.  It was a foreshadow of my life.  A few months later I experienced these words.

if it applies

eva been caught on the wrong painting canvas?

cuz ooooooo i painted that canvas and boy did i color it!

i stroked that canvas in ways you couldn’t believe.

reproduced colors into existence.

you hear me?

i took my paint brush and stabbed holes into another woman’s painting.

i manipulated the paint to do things it never imagined.

i let the brush molest every part of that canvas.

dripping with significance.

i let the paint brush with the paintbrush and boy did it brush!

colors ran away from each other, colors ran into each other, it was an artistic orgy.

i painted on another painter’s canvas.

My fingers don’t feel regret though.

i made the painting a better woman cuz after i painted on it, she realized what art really is.

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Top 5 things that will stop me from dating you...

There are some things that I absolutely can NOT deal with while dating someone.  I consider myself an easy going person but there are some things that will get you cut off with the quickness if we were to start talking.  Here's a top 5 list.

5.) Case of the Ex-  I refuse to date anyone with a lingering ex girlfriend.  Please figure out what you're doing with that situation.  Ex girlfriends are exes for a reason.  You should probably work on a friendship when feelings aren't still present.  I've dated girls that had ex girls who stalked me.  So unattractive!  Tame your ex bitches!

4.) Nail biters- I really can't stand to date someone who bites their finger nails.  How do you eat your finger nails like its fried chicken?  Next thing you know you have NO finger nails and stubby ass fingers.  Non manicure getting ass.  You cant even get a manicure! BLASPHEMY!

3.) Boasters and braggers- From a very young age I've been independent.  I've worked and earned everything that I have by myself.  Why di rass would I care about what you have?  Please don't tell me about all the Gucci and Fendi that you wear.  Don't tell me about all the women you bag.  Don't tell me about all the money you have.  I wear labels, I bag women and I have money.  I don't need to brag or boast about it.  Stop bragging you obnoxious fuck!

2.) Got Faith?- I have a firm belief in a higher being.  I'm not religious, but I do believe in God and my foundation begins and ends with that belief.  I don't think I could EVER date someone who doesn't believe in God.  I'm not saying you have to be a religious nut, but there has to be some type of spiritualness there.  I'm going to need the person I'm dating to keep me company in heaven o:-)

1.) LIARS!!- I despise someone who can not tell the truth.  For me it takes ONE lie for me to walk away from you.  I love the truth.  Even if it hurts.  Give me the option to make my decisions based on truth.  Don't lie about what you have, what you've done or who you have or have not been with.  I'm impressed by truth and intelligence, not fabrications and exaggerations.

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Summer of FUN!

Cuffing season begins mid October and ends roughly around April 1st.  By April 15th, most women have dumped their girlfriends and are ready to embrace the warm weather.  Girls clothes melt in warm weather.  Lesbians come out of hibernation in warm weather.  Nipples make appearances in warm weather.  Herpes run rampant in warm weather. Welcome to the single life!

For all you single people, let's make this the Summer of Fun!  Fuck Love!  Save that for October 15th.  Embrace the naked lesbians with exposed nipples.  Avoid the herpes.  Live it up!  For all you cuffed up people, congrats for making it past April 15th!  Real love survives tax season. 
 

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That poor baby...

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First date sex...

2011... What are our standards looking like?  Does sleeping with someone on the first date mean that you have little to no standards?  I don't think I've ever given up ass on the first date.  Second date, possibly.

In this day and age where sex is so free (and dangerous) what does it say about your standards if you sleep with someone on the first date?  No judgements.  We are all adults and we all handle sex in different capacities.  Sometimes you meet someone and connect with them on a level that makes it comfortable to have sex with them on the first date.  Does your standards become lower when you sleep with EVERYONE on the first date?  Is there a suitable amount of time before you throw those soiled panties/boxers to the ground and give it up?

Does First Date Sex make you a slutty butty?

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@aguynagirl on 3Minds Live

Last week I did a blog about the music industry and the lack of talent, so you can imagine my excitement when I heard that one of my FAVORITE bands, A Guy n A Girl (AGuynAGirl or AGNAG) was going to be on 3Minds Live. AGNAG consist of Guill (the guy) and Diandra (the girl).  Together these 2 artist form a sound that embodies rock, soul, funk, indie and conscious music all in one.  If you don't enjoy commercial music, and seek something with substance, AGNAG is the eclectic sound you want to listen to.  Both self taught Guitarist came together and perfected a sound that in my opinion, has not been done by anyone else.


To check out their music visit http://aguynagirl.bandcamp.com <---Purchase their EP

<--Check their video out!

Come celebrate the release of their EP this Friday!


Where: UC LOUNGE (87 Ludlow Street b/w Delancy & Broome)

2-4-1 DRINK SPECIALS SO come early!

21+ with ID required

$10 cover

Twitter: @aguynagirl
Facebook: http://facebook.com/aguynagirl
Youtube: http://youtube.com/user/aguynagirl

 

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